Lord, sometimes my heart is filled with perplexity and bewilderment. I know what your written word says__but I also know how the real world around me defies so much of what is promised there, and I am left to either explain or try to understand why there seems to be so many contradictions.
My mortal, humanistic reasoning tries to exasperate what faith I have in what I cannot see. I cannot see beyond it without Your Holy Spirit. Help me Lord.
What is your will and purpose in all the reprobate and terminal decay of human decency and empathy. I think Sodom and Gomorrah would squirm at the atrocities of our generation.
It is a plague upon mankind, worse than the black plague. The vileness of the mind and spirit no longer hides in the darkness but manifests itself in the light. In his nakedness, man is exhibiting his corrupt and degenerate nature in all its perverted ways, shameless, and deaf and blind.
How do I tell someone caught in the grip of fear and bondage, there's a better way? How do I explain that to a child who has been abused by the ones they love and look up to the most. Or a nation that knows nothing but depravity, sorrow and despair. We send missionaries to these lands in the name of our God, while we dance and sing, and shout in our spiritual Disney Lands of powerless imagery.
I'm angry Lord, I'm disillusioned, and dismayed. I could type ten thousand words, shout from the highest roof top, "Turn from your wicked ways, for the Day of the Wrath of God is upon you!" Even those who declare to be Christians, are full of apathy and are at ease in Zion.
Lord, I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Many of us see the corruption at work in our own homes and family, struggling with answers and genuine convictions, while those who should be pillars of the community, (and many are) spread their corruption without remorse or repentance. Not to speak of the powers that be compromising and bartering with justice at the expense of the innocent.
What, and who are you trying to save with your fear and doubt? Who will hear your empty words? You are like a banner in the wind that has no power except display.
Do you care who will benefit from the truth? Or do you fear the consequences of it.? Or both? Cease from your work, it is mine. Confess, that you can do nothing.
Were you able to save yourself? Did you not come to hear my voice? When all was chaos and darkness, did you not see my Light. Did any of your reasoning, fear and doubt save you out of it?
Why did I save you Raf?
Lord, I wasn't talking about me. I know what you've done for me. I'll never understand the fullness of your gift to me, enough to give honest praise and thankfulness, with understanding, it is beyond me Lord. But I do want others to share in this same gift that I know is available to them. It was your love that gripped my heart when you forgave me of things, I know, no body else would. And even if they did, I couldn't forgive myself. You showed me that your forgiveness was my only way to freedom, rest, peace and joy, and as priceless as that has been, you have taught me that it is also that I might grow up into the fullness of your own stature. Lord how do I explain such things?
All the things I hoped for, that money could not buy, that those I loved the most could not give me, were freely found in you.
I know the difference that it makes in the lives of individuals, families, friends, communities and nations, that live by at least a moral code of ethics. Where justice, empathy for others motivates the golden rule. But you are so much more than that Lord.
It's so late, and I'm not even sure that all this reasoning is getting me anywhere. Or even where I'm trying to go with it, except to You.
Raf, I would have you lay this burden down. Can you obey me in this? I have not called you to carry this burden. No man will be conformed to me, except by my Spirit. Look not upon the world in its humiliation, in its corruptness, and measure its need by your ability to save or change it. You still look upon man in his flesh, and not his spirit.
Do you not yet know, that it is I who dwell in you that is your hope of glory? Or that only I am able to subject all things unto myself, even the world?
Yes, you do know that I dwell in you, even as you type these words, they are not your own. You feel the draw of my Spirit in you to understanding and revelation.
There is no struggle or effort in your reasoning with me, because you know me within. Your struggle is in not yielding to Faith. You lean to heavily upon your own thoughts and ways. You will never conform to my ways nor convince others to, until they see My finished work of reconciliation and sanctification in your life through faith and obedience in my Word.
Words, knowledge, doctrine, rite and ritual, works, or will, cannot bring about what you long for. I am the Way the Truth and the Life. Walk in me, speak my Word, and live my Life in you. That's all I require of you. In the simplest of days in all of your ways, fear me and keep my commandments.
Concerning the rest___leave it to me. Do not waste time with controversy to my will. Let your faith in my Word become your rest, your peace and your joy.
Let not your heart be troubled, peace be still, Raf."