Lord, today I wanted so badly to hear from some member of my family. To hear how they are, to share in the things of their lives, to rejoice with them, to comfort if need be. Just once, without them calling because of something they needed.
I felt ashamed, and it pressed me to my knees. I felt the spirit of resentment in me. I needed to be needed for something other than.....
As I poured out my heart to you, and You so graciously and patiently listened to my hearts cry, there was a silence that I have rarely known before. It was the silence of your own grieving heart. I suddenly felt that in spite of Your own desire for me to come and just be with you, wanting nothing, You chose to turn your attention to me.
Oh Lord, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. I love you Lord, let me love you Lord, I make the mistake of thinking I can't love you the way you need to be loved. I couldn't love you at all, if you hadn't first loved me.
Forgive me Lord, I come to love you Lord, wanting nothing, but to know that you are satisfied in my coming, that my heart is free from desiring none but You. I love you Lord. Raf.
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