MAKE MY HEART YOUR BETHANY LORD

As I look back on my own journey of faith in Christ.  The one and most agonizing disappointment was in those who befriended me because of what to me was the "realness of the intimacy of Christ."  Those who shared Him in their gatherings (denominations) with such zeal and purpose.  They taught me to read the written word and to hide it in my heart, and for that I will forever be grateful.  But,  I was taught by the written word,  that the WORD could speak to me, even as He had spoken to the early saints made perfect.  This is in no way to imply that I am perfect.  Though the Word says, "be ye perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect." 
That seems like a contradiction to some, perhaps many.
If I am dead to my flesh, and alive in Christ, His life in me should make me perfect.  Is perfect sinless? 
Not in this flesh!
Christ in me is perfect, but He rules in me to surrender my will to Him in complete faith and obedience, allowing Him to manifest the authority that is His, the wisdom that is His, the Word that is His, by His Holy Spirit.  His Holy Spirit.
I am His, but I am not I AM.  This is not a subject that I will ever wrestle with another, I have seen the result of wrestling with the angel of the Lord, and will not temp Him to break my hip or place a thorn in my side.  I am guilty of it in other ways, and know that lesson of pride and presumption.
I am, only because He IS.  I bow the knees of my heart and soul before Him, acknowledging,  "He alone is God."
To be one with Him, surrendered to Him, covenanted to Him, sanctified in Him, does not make me Him.
Jesus lived in the union and fullness of His Father.  He was One with Him, in will, and purpose, obedient unto death.  He confessed that he could do nothing except what He heard from His Father, in judgement and mercy (though He could have) he did not seek His own will, but the will of the Father.  He is my fullness, but I am not the fullness__I desire with my will, for His purpose to reconcile all to Himself,  not willing that any should perish__I desire to obey Him in all His desire, will and purpose, but I can not do anything except He manifest in me to do that work.
I am the workmanship of His hands, the vessel,  NOT THE POTTER.
I cannot comprehend the agony of His disappointment___look at that word and see what the Spirit would have you see___dis-appointment.
Have you ever had everything go wrong in keeping you from keeping an appointment?
He was Appointed, Anointed, Predestined and pre-Ordained in His coming.  Every cell of His body pressed Him to fulfill the commission of His Father.
He was dis- heartened and dis-spirited over and over again by those of his own family,  those that claimed to minister the laws and covenants of God.  Yes, He came to His own, and His own, received him not.
They were the fig tree that bore no fruit for Him, and they bear none to this day, save in Christ Jesus.
Today you will find Him in Bethany,  that place where He is invited in to find the fellowship of Spirit and Truth.  Little flocks of those who seek to serve Him and minister TO HIM. 
I pray that He will find us eager to sit at His feet and "Hear His Word."  for that is His meat, that is His consolation___that we Hear, and perceive, and receive the greatest gift that He brings to your house, the sanctuary of your heart___the gift of seeking you out for His own satisfaction.
Do not be cumbered about with trying to please Him with works of the flesh, with fruits of your labor.  Kneel before Him, be still, and KNOW the WORD__He is God.